A Recap of Everything

Since I'm restarting this blog after a 3 year hiatus, I feel that giving a quick recap might be useful.


Here's a barebones rundown of my TSW history:

• Sept. 2011: Prescribed steroids for skin rashes on my back, arms & legs. Started with orals (Prednisone), then was prescribed topicals (Triamcinalone). After just a few weeks on steroids the rashes spread all over my entire body.
• March 2012: I began a brief TSW of 3 months duration, however I didn't stick with it because I had only used steroids for a short time and didn't think I could possibly be addicted to them already.
• June 2012: Began using steroids again. Used Topicals, Orals and was also given shots (Cortisone).
• January 2014: Began my 2nd TSW, which lasted almost one complete year.
• December 22, 2014: Used Topicals (Triamcinolone) for 2 weeks because my skin had become so terrible and I still wasn't actually certain that I was going through TSW or if I had some other type of issue. Worst mistake of my life!
• January 2015: Began my 3rd TSW (my worst TSW yet).

That brings us all the way to today (approaching three years since starting my 3rd TSW).

I'm back

Hi there, TSW community.

It's time that I write a follow-up to my last blog post and update everyone on how things have been since Sept. 2014.

To be honest, this is a difficult post for me to write. I've known that I would need to write about it eventually but have been putting it off out of fear and embarrassment. And emotional fatigue.

First, I should say that my life is certainly in a better place now than it was back then. But, if I left it at that, I would be leaving out a lot of important information.

The truth is that, after my last post (1 full year into TSW), I ended up using steroids again for 2 weeks. I used them around Christmas (December 20-31) 2014 because I was suffering immensely with my skin. It was a choice that I made out of desperation. My skin had taken a huge turn for the worse during the fall of 2014 and I was forced to quit my part-time office administration job. I also had to take 6 months off from teaching piano. I was in such severe pain that I could no longer function.

Unfortunately, my decision to use steroids again was a huge, disastrous mistake. I then went through yet another withdrawal that was 10x worse than the previous. And I even had to live with my parents for a month or two.

I am still not fully healed. I have good months and bad months even still. Good days and bad.

____

Writing these words is deeply difficult for me. I believe that it's difficult for me to write because I'm still trying to comprehend and make peace with the fact that this is (and has been) my life for such a long time.

Although I've experienced a lot of personal growth and, quite honestly, am thankful for the difficult journey, I feel a very real sadness when I stop to think about how it's still dragging on even now.

My journey through severe eczema and TSW has taken up the majority of my adult life so far. I've been struggling immensely for 7 years now and, although I've experienced some healing (especially from my very worst times), it is still a daily battle.

I am hoping that blogging about it will perhaps be a form of therapy for me again. At this point, it's difficult to talk about my issues with others because I feel like it's extremely old news to everyone else. However, I think that it would be healthier for me to have an outlet to process my own thoughts and emotions surrounding this. More soon, hopefully.